-THE AWAKENING-

I was born on May 13, 1940 in Alliance, a small town in the northeast of Nebraska, next to the Wyoming border. I have only a single souvenir of my father which consists of a black and white photo that was taken on my fourth birthday. In the picture, IÆm sitting on his lap at the foot of a huge combine harvester. My father made a living repairing farm machinery out in the immense plains of Nebraska.

At a very early age, I began having nightmares and I even thought I saw strange apparitions in my room. I really don't remember all of this, although at times translucent faces appear before me. I didn't understand what they were or where they were coming from. I was dutifully cared for by our family doctor for several years. Unexplained visions complicated my situation even further, and this good doctor wound up losing his last strands of hair over me. Woken up by my screams one night, my mother, Vickie, witnessed luminous apparitions in my room and in the house.
These phenomena, along with multicolored halos of light, and even bluish rays filtering in through the blinds seemed to take place almost exclusively when my father was away for a long period of time on the plains.

The doctor didn't take long to relate these ½ episodes ╗ to my fatherÆs absence. This caused the first serious arguments between my parents. At this time, my grandmother had long discussions with Alan, my father, concerning me and the source of these strange events. Ichouka (my grandmother's real name, a Hopi Indian,) insisted on a correlation between my birth and an old Hopi legend. It predicted the return of an extraordinary being among her people. Ichouka wondered if all these signs didn't have a direct tie with this legend. All these explanations were incomprehensible to my father who grew up a modest farmer from Nebraska. Things would have stayed this way if an incredible event hadn't taken place on January 11, 1943. I'll explain what happened just as it was described by my father in one of his letters :

"It was a very harsh winter night, and the wind swept the entire plain. A clear sky revealed thousands of stars which sparkled above the horizon. I drove the old Dodge on high beams in the direction of the farm. I was tired and trying to concentrate on the road stretching off in a thin line toward infinity. It was around 9:20 p.m., and I was driving through the only wooded area in the region when a flash of light descended from the sky and vanished behind the line of trees. A few seconds later, an immense glow created a vast bluish backlighting in the forest which then slowly faded. Without hesitating, I drove my truck over to the place where it had been thinking that it was a plane crash.

I parked the Dodge at the edge of the row of trees which kept me from getting any further, and I continued on foot. I realized very quickly that the machine had made a kind of path in the forest; the tops of the trees were destroyed for about a hundred feet. A small strange light continued to shine in the dark and clearly guided my way. I came out into a clearing and what I saw there dropped my jaw. A kind of enormous metallic disc was half-destroyed and wedged in among some trees, hanging suspended a few feet above the ground.

After a moment of considerable surprise, I went over to a glowing object on the ground. I don't know what happened to me, but I grabbed hold of it and picked it up without thinking. It was a small, smooth metallic sphere glowing bright green. I couldnÆt see where the light actually came from. Then, when I looked at the big disc again, I felt a tremendous desire to sleep. A few seconds later, I collapsed to the ground. When I woke up the next day, everything was gone except the small sphere..."

My father never told anyone what he had found. Two days later, a newspaper printed an article about the mysterious lights seen in the sky in this region. Since that day, my father listened to all the news and gossip about mysterious events in the state of Nebraska. There seemed to be a lot of them. He collected all the news articles and took notes in a journal with me in mind. My father was away often and his relationship with my mother became more and more strained. Divorce had been considered, but faced with the separation from his son that would result, he preferred to carry on, hoping that everything could be worked out. However, the love was gone between them.

April 23, 1943, Ichouka, taking advantage of my parents being away at a friend's house for a few days, took me to a neighboring Indian reservation. There, she knew she could find a Shaman or spiritual leader who was well-known to the Sioux. This leader wasn't from her tribe, but for her it was urgent. Ichouka didn't have a choice. She loved me too much to wait any longer. The result of this remarkable visit would never have been known if my father hadn't written it down in his journal :

"April 24, 1943, Mom met a "pejuta wicasa" , a healer-visionary by the name of Inyan Yukasha. He held a special ceremony for my son. I don't really believe in these things, but all I can say is that the mysterious phenomena happening to Eliott at night became steadily less frequent. Eventually they disappeared completely, many days later on his fourth birthday. Their source remains a great mystery to me, and despite my asking several times for explanations, Mom never wanted to tell me more. I know that she never stopped thinking about a famous Hopi legend. After doing some research on my own, I eventually found it. I'll write it down here as it was given to me :

æWe know that the faithful will join together to escape the destruction of the Great Day of Purification. On this day, there will be an explosion followed by a great fire which can be seen on both North and South America, and the Earth will shake. Then, at this moment, when the Great White Brother appears, listen to his voice and join together in the south where the power will emerge.Æ Dean Katchongva, 1829.

What do you think about that?"

In the middle of the war, my father left for England to join it on March 6, 1944. On June 6, 1944, he parachuted over the French coast in Normandy. He found himself on a beach that would later be the famous Omaha Beach. HereÆs one of my father's letters sent to my grandmother from Europe (and only to her) revealing a strange revelation.

"A few minutes before the jump, we were flying over the Channel. While my eyes were staring at the little red light, waiting for the "Green Light", our sergeant opened the jump door. The night was still black, and I could feel the salty sea spray coming from outside. Mom, I have to admit that I was frightened to death. We had just received the order to "Get Ready", and I stood up when we heard a shout from the man closest to the open door : "Foo-Fighters !"

A few of us leaned over the black hole, and we saw them : three balls of green light were moving at an insane speed. In comparison, we seemed to be flying in place. It didn't look like anything we knew. Strange balls of such intense green light that I can still see it before my eyes. Some guys claim that they were German secret weapons. But my heart told me something completely different..."

My father's unit carried out the landing under the orders of General Bradley. While seizing a blockhouse, his leadership was exemplary and so he was promoted to sergeant. Although the state of Nebraska had sent close to 12,800 men to Europe, for us the war was just a faraway echo, and I was not, at least in the beginning, too disturbed by this new and longer absence of my father. He wrote numerous letters and greatly expressed all the affection he had for me.

Having been wounded, my father spent several days recovering in a small village in Normandy from July 2 to 18, 1944. I found out later that he had had a brief affair with a French woman, Eliane Delpierre. On November 25, a second injury sent him to Paris. He saw Eliane again. She told him that she was pregnant with his baby. On April 9, 1945, little Marie Delpierre was born. On April 27, 1945, my father received a letter with the news at the front. He immediately sent a letter to my grandmother in which he confessed his love for the French woman and he decided to acknowledge the child.

On May 2, 1945, in an all-out battle in the streets of Berlin, my father was killed by the submachine fire from Hitler's personal SS division. He was one of the 3655 habitants of Nebraska who would never come home. In his last letter, my father asked that his young daughter be taken care of if by misfortune, "something" happened to him. When he died, my grandmother kept silent about the affair and put the famous letter in a trunk. The war had just ended and the whole world tried to forget this bad time. Then, my mother began to get depressed. She started drinking. Fortunately, Grandma helped her and a few years later, Vicky married an entrepeneur in public works. On this day, December 27, 1949, a terrible storm blanketed the state of Nebraska with snow, and many guests arrived at the ceremony late. That night, I was left in my GrandmotherÆs care. The newlyweds set off for their honeymoon, a few days in Florida. Even that first night, Ichouka was awakened by my screams. So, I told her about the nightmare with the simplicity that only a child can have:

"I thought I was an eagle, and I was flew over a vast red desert. I stopped on the peak of a mountain and watched the plain. It's at that moment that I saw them... There were 11 of them, 11 men dressed in the funniest suits. They were all very white like Katchinas, which you showed me one time. One of them spoke to me with a very low voice. He told me, æyou will come back here one day.Æ Then they disappeared..."

Ichouka wrote down my dreams word for word. She put them with the bundles of letters from my father. Thanks to all these precautions, I was able to learn about my first few years as well as read more about my father's life and thoughts.

So as not to upset me, my mother and stepfather decided that I should keep my father's name. On June 29,1949, we moved to Florida. My stepfather got a contract to build future missile launch pads. The Thills family settled down in a small comfortable house in Daytona Beach, not far from Cape Canaveral. The house had a small yard and was next to the sea. It was like a dream. Launch pads 34 and 37 were in the working. I lived my entire childhood next to an immense building site that would eventually become Apollo's launch pad. It was around this time that I started suffering from asthma attacks. A family doctor suggested that it came from my father's death in the middle of my childhood. Strangely, I refused any kind of treatment outright. I didn't want to take any medicine and only gave in when I was suffering from a serious attack.

On September 6, 1949, I went back to school, "Maryland Kirt." It's there where I met the person who would become my best friend, Ted Gray. Our relationship started off pretty badly On October 22, a fist-fight ended with a trip to the school nurse's office. The principal recorded the incident and our parents were called in. I actually could have been a very good student. It wasnÆt question of intelligence but rather that I dreamt too much. My headÆs always been in the clouds, looking for shooting stars, so much that I wound up with the nickname, "Starry".

Rather than be embarrassed by the nickname, I was pretty proud. I often used it when introducing myself.

The night of July 21, 1950, I suddenly woke up in my room. I had the impression that someone had just woken me up. Without really knowing why, I headed for the small yard. I studied the starry sky for a few minutes. That night I saw my first UFO. A kind of bright white cigar which quickly moved in the sky. It wasn't until several months later that I told my grandmother about it.

Every Sunday my stepfather, John Thills, took me to see the test pilots carry out their training sessions. The construction of missiles continued to advance, and despite numerous failures, everyone knew the United States would never give up. On July 29, 1958, NASA was created, and President Eisenhower gave this organisation the responsibility to achieve manned space flight. The "Go Ahead" for such programs was officially given on October 7, 1958. On November 26, the project was given the name "Mercury". Construction of the necessary parts was ordered by the Army and Air Force for the booster rockets which were indispensable to the project. Thus the Atlas missile was created.

In January 1959, a specification for another category of manned flightÆs "required material" was drawn up : Astronauts. They had to be younger than 40 years old, shorter than 6'1", and have a lot of experience flying jet aircraft. Fascinated by the turn of events, I worked hard to become a test pilot. I had great hope in the future. Nothing scared me.

On June 13, 1960, a dramatic event crushed all this enthusiasm. My stepfather was killed along with two other workers in an accidental propellant explosion at his building site at Cape Canaveral. The man who had taught me the names of the stars left without saying good-bye. On June 16, 1960, an honorary funeral was given for the first three men killed in the name of the conquest of space. I was impressed by the presence of so many men from such different professional backgrounds. There were test pilots, engineers, and workers of all sorts.. That day I realized that the conquest of space was a common pursuit rather than an individual one. I was certain that John Thills didn't die for nothing. A few days later, July 17, 1960, asleep under the stars, I saw the second UFO. It had the shape of a saucer colored a very light blue silver. The object crossed the sky at an incredible speed. Then, it seemed to come to a halt directly overhead. I had the strong impression that its purpose was directly related to me. Then, the object disappeared as fast as it had appeared. Instead of feeling frightened, I felt like it was a message from elsewhere, a call for new hope.

My mother never recovered from this new stroke of fate. During the weeks after my stepfather's death, she divided her time between drinking and taking tranquillizers. I have to admit, I was also very shaken up by the accident. My stepfather and I shared the only passion that mattered in my heart : the quest for space. So, of course, my respiratory problems resurface. I had become a tall man, 6'3", rather thin, very clear blue eyes, and still with short hair. On July 28, 1960, I "accidentally" came across a newspaper article titled "Foo Fighters". It was about the strange lights that were sometimes seen by the Allied or enemy pilots during World War II. This information was kept secret until the end of the war. The article showed the only photo taken at the time of the war. Remembering the description of my father's personal experience, I felt extremely concerned.

Further down the page there were some extracts from an interview with General Nathan Twining, Chief of Air Material Command. He stated that UFOs were something real and not hallucinations or visions. Nathan Twining called for a special investigation on the subject. During this time, I saw the films "War of the Worlds" and "The Forbidden Planet." My passion for science fiction literature and films grew more and more intense. I no longer looked at the sky the same way, and I began collecting every document that existed concerning UFOs. I discovered very quickly that there were thousands of them. The same questions came up again and again: What were these lights seen in the night? Where did they come from?

With the "Dicoverer 13", launched August 10, 1960, the United States finally succeeded in bringing back a satellite from orbit. This feat marked the first actual step towards the realization of a manned space program. I felt that I shouldn't give up, I had to continue to study. I made the most of my vacation and went to stay with my grandma in Alliance. My mother would join me once she had finished with all the administrative formalities of my stepfatherÆs death.

On the evening of August 12, I arrived at the family farm in Alliance. My grandmother was waiting for me on the front steps. She wasn't alone. She introduced me to Wukkey Tawima, a Hopi Shaman. His enormous cigar suffocated me almost immediately. Wukkey was a Priest of the stars. This was his real function in the eyes of the Hopi tribe. He had made a special trip from Shingopavi, a village located in the heart of the Hopi reservation in Arizona. My grandmother's native village. Ichouka had decided that it was the right time to tell me about certain revelations. During the night, she explained to me the source of certain mysteries associated with my birth and the last few years of my father's life.

We planned an initial trip for a few days to the heart of Hopi country, under the aegis of Wukkey, "Priest of the Stars." We left the following morning. Still tired from my trip, and not knowing what was going on, I found myself in an old clunker from the æ40s heading to Arizona. I tried to make conversation, but Wukkey didn't say a word. He didn't stop chewing on his cigar and the pungent odor almost made me sick.

We arrived at a house not far from Oraibi. I was immediately led into a hut where I took a steam bath. Not having eaten anything in the last 24 hours, I suddenly found myself completely naked with a group of indians who were complete strangers. We were going to begin a "sweat lodge". It was a traditional ceremony which took place on the inside of the hut covered with blankets. In the center, stones heated white-hot made the place stifling. Once in a while, the chief of the hut threw some water on the stones and a burning steam filled the air. This looked nothing like Florida. When inhaling the steam, my lungs burned horribly at first. I wondered if I wasn't going to die suffocating. However, Wukkey's first words to me were : "Behave like a man," and I wanted to show them that I was one. A half hour seemed like forever. When my eyes saw the daylight, I collapsed on the floor under the smiles of Tawima and his fellow brothers.